Relationships

At first tonight, I really didn't know what to write about. Then I was posting an entry on my other blog and it occurred to me that I wanted to write about relationships. Specifically love relationships. Of course, this isn't a part of the curriculum at school, but if you've ever been a teacher, or been around children, you will soon see that their behaviour is shaped a lot by their parent's relationships with each other.

If you are married, I would like to ask you; "Why did you get married?". In the beginning, I got married for reasons like "I'm in love" and "I want security", "He completes me" and "I want to grow old with someone". They all seemed pretty valid and natural reasons to me at the time. After being married for close to five years now and together with my spouse for a total of eight years, I really began to realize that all of those reasons I just listed, however natural and normal in our society are all the wrong reasons to get married. In most marriages, even the best of marriages, eventually you are going to get mad at your spouse and start "pushing each other's buttons". So in spiritual terms, your relationship is all ego. Many relationships now end in divorce. Of course constant fighting between the parents and strained relationships have a negative effect on their children. Hence, the behavior that we teachers see in the classroom. The issue is, that people do not get married for the right reasons. In my own relationship I finally really get that I am with my spouse for really one main reason and that is for spiritual growth. I am ready to grow now. When I get my "buttons pushed" by him now, I do my best to remain present. I understand now that when I feel a strong emotion from something he says or does, I understand that he's bringing something out of me that needs healing. And instead of getting angry because he "made me" feel this way, I accept it. And honestly I actually enjoy it now because I know I'm getting rid of some baggage that no longer serves me.